Wednesday, October 31, 2001

Buffy Cats!
oooh... head spinning... must sit down...
Technically, Scott is a moron
Apparently I was crank calling an old friend of mine last night. He called me back 18 times. Here is my estimation of what happened.
I had turned my phone on silent so I could have a meeting with people yesterday. I never turned it back. I had the keys unlocked, because my network monitor was paging me with problems on the net. I put the phone in my pocket to go home. I was working on my webpage, and the phone in my pocket was hitting the '1' and 'call' buttons, which will call the first person in my phone book, i.e. my (probably former) friend. I have to call him tonight and spend about an hour apologizing. Sometimes I'm just stupid that way...

Tuesday, October 30, 2001

Ahh.... Still feeling ill from this weekend. I think someone sent me rickets in the mail. Anyhoo.. there are new and wonderful features coming your way soon, so stay tooned. I have been hacking on this little treat for a while and can't wait to unveil it to the world! *cackel* It'll be fun :)

**trust me**
My neighborhood smells like a fireplace. Apparently, there is a 25 acre wood chip fire going on. Why would anyone need 25 acres of wood chips, anyway? Worlds largest attempt at landscaping? This is very strange to me. Here is more info...
So, I am considering leaving the valley of the sun and moving north, to Seattle. Anyone have any opinions of this place? Good, bad? Are there going to be any more WTO protests? Does it actually rain 9 months out of the year? I guess the point is I want to move to a real city, like Chicago or New York, sans cold/snow/winter.

Monday, October 29, 2001

My oldest cat purrs in her sleep. She also moves in her sleep and has been know on at least one occasion ot Meow in her sleep. And her newest favorite sleeping place is on top of my laptop.
Also, I seem to have encourage at least 3 people to start using encryption in there email, simply to protest the government's burning need to know what I am saying to my best friend :)
My first link.. I love it. Wonderful, even tho she seemed brave enough to go downtown this weekend. I couldn't even..
Oh well, enough of that. Check out Drawn Outside the Lines. It's good stuff, and will be on my list if I get off my butt and assemble my list of Blogs of Note...

Sunday, October 28, 2001

Hmm.. Went to see 'Mulholland Drive' last night. That is the lastest piece of intellectual masterbation cranked out by David Lynch. I would love to fall in line with the rest of the slacker, coffee-house hipsters and expound for hours and hours on what a genius he is, but I just don't buy it. As far as I am concerned, his only good movie was Dune, which he didn't write, but mearly directed. 'Mulholland' is one long (2.5 hours) confusing trip designed purly for people who 'get it', as opposed to people like me who don't. See it or don't but I do know you will either love it or hate it...

Wednesday, October 24, 2001

Chasing Amy
I don't know where exactly to start with this, but it is just strange. I don't regret divorsing my wife, I don't regret my last girlfriend breaking up with me, those things were both for the best. But sitting here watching 'Chasing Amy' made me think of things. This happens to me just after Kevin Smith finishes his monologue. It makes me think of my first girlfriend. I know I screwed things up there. I know everything would have been different if I hadn't screwed that one up. I'm not saying it would have been forever. I'm not saying I would have never gotten married to the wrong woman, or anything would have ended up differently, but I know I wouldn't have lived these days of my life regreting that. I don't regret dropping out of college, and I don't regret my failed marriage. That is the only thing that I do regret. I don't know if I will ever meet someone that I feel that comfortable with, or that I am that at ease with ever again. I know it was probably just stupid high-school romance, and it would have been done at the end of the year and whatnot, but what if. I just don't know, and I personally hate regret, and that is the one thing in my life I do regret. BTW, her name was Amy, and I will probably spend the rest of my life Chasing Amy.

On a lighter note, I have been striken with a horrible case of insomnia, so I will most likly seem less then coherent in the following days...

Tuesday, October 23, 2001

Due to my general lack of interesting things to say on this blog, I am going to start interspersing my blog with my personal thoughts on whatever books I happen to be reading. At the moment, it is the previously mentioned 'One Hundred Years of Solitude', which apparently takes one hundred years to finish. It's *really* good, it just takes a long time to read, like 'Lolita'. Also, I am reading 'A People's History of the United States' by Howard Zin, and 'A Brief History of Time' by Stephen Hawking. So 'yall, rush on out and pick these up. My goal is to read 2 chapters in each a week. There will be a quiz, and it will count for at least half your grade. The rest of your grade will be based on the quality of bribes selected from the previously mentioned list. Fun fun!
Buffy Dream Date
Who's your Buffy Dream Date? Mine's Willow, which is good, because SMG is simply an imposter of the One, True Buffy, Kristy Swanson. :)

Thursday, October 18, 2001

I'm in love with a stick figure
Well, not really. I did about a half dozen sketches today, and am happy with most of them. Need to get some pens tomorrow at lunch. It's been for ages since I did that, and at least I feel like I am using that college education of mine. If I ever get to a scanner, maybe I will put them online. Mostly pinup stuff.
Please bear with me as I deal with my mania. I have been down so long that been not-unhappy is a bit of a shock to the system. I am trying to make this last (or at least the even keel part last) for a while. I have been slouching around for too long and that's no good for anyone.
Work has been hitting new heights of suckage lately. Just sucky all around.

That's about it. I had this multi-page discourse in my head earlier, but that's all forgotten now.

Monday, October 15, 2001

Blah.. Not much today. Laid around until 10am, got up. Cleaned the apartment some. Went to the pet supply store. Ate a bag of potato chips. Took a 10 mile skate and talked to my best friend in Michigan for an hour and a half. That pretty much sums up my weekend.

Saturday, October 13, 2001

Someone from AOL keeps looking at my site... LisaLisa, is that you? I realize that I emailed you nights ago, and I also realize that I had been drinking and I really have no idea of what I said, although I have a feeling it had something to do with my birthday. I apologize.
I listen to my dad talk about his father, and my siblings talk about their grandfather, and I wonder what I missed. My grandfather was dead by the time I existed, and by the time I was old enough to know or care, my dad was old. I never shared moments with my dad, male bonding moments. Plus, I wasn't the type of man that my dad knew how to deal with. I was cereberal, my sister was athletic. This really threw him for a loop. He really had no idea on what to do with us. I've never been in a fight, never been hit in the face, any of that. I think at this point, our 'gender roles' have been tossed for a tumble. This isn't a real problem. Growing up on a farm, I eventually learned what my father was trying to teach me. I finally gained his respect, or at least what I thought was his respect, when I was 22. Earning my way in the world, by that time I had dropped out of college and got a job. At that point I loved my dad, and knew what he wanted me to know. Things about earning my one way and paying for my own life. Taking control of my own destiny. I love my dad, but I would never be able to bring my self to tell him that. Tell him that everything I am, everything I have done, everything I have accomplished is a direct result of the things he taught me and showed me. He never told me any of this, of course. I have no idea why, though. Sitting in his living room, looking at him as my mother gets some coffee, I can't bring myself to say 'I love you dad. I learned everything you were trying to tell me. I was listening, even when we shouted at each other at the top of our lungs. I really was listening and learning. I am the man that you wanted me to be, but that kind of man is not wanted in this world.' People wonder why guys don't ask people out on dates, but the men like me, men with morals and values learned from two generations ago. It's because our values, our morals, the very things that make us men, aren't wanted anymore. I am not talking about the sexist, racist things that people tack onto people of that generation. I am talking about the silly little things like respecting women, opening doors, standing up when a woman comes to the table. Stuff like that. I'm out of words now.. Maybe more later...
I am quite a bit more drunk now, but I don't think I can explain just yet.... Stay tooned...

Friday, October 12, 2001

Hi, my name is Scott, and I'm an alcoholic. I started drinking less then socially about a year ago. Since then, I have forgotten why I drink, but I binge drink several nights a week. I haven't hit bottom yet, since I do my most serious drinking on the weekend. I don't know if I am actually an acoholic yet, since I try not to let it affect my work. I'm not quite drunk yet, so maybe I will be able to explain this after a few more drinks.

Tuesday, October 09, 2001

Why do people you work with try to act like your friend when they discover that you are having a birthday. Every other day, they leave you alone and you them, and everyone is a happy cog, but have a birthday and they suddenly feel obligated to be your best friend for about an hour rather then treating it like every other day. Why?

Monday, October 08, 2001

on flirting
How does one flirt? I think I missed that class. I managed to get through high school and college (well the part of college I got through) without actually figuring this out. I mean, all I want is a smart, sassy, wonderful woman, but if one presented herself to me, I would have no idea on what to do. How does one go up to a sassy, intelligent girl, well woman, and say 'Hey, can I buy you a drink?' Generally, one would have to believe that a sassy, intelligent woman would not respond to that, but in my vast experience, I have learned that 'How would you compare and contrast the societies of Huxley's Brave New World with Orwell's 1984?' doesn't work. This has only garnered me strange looks of confusion. So it would seem that flirting has nothing to do with Huxley or Orwell, but with things that she (the woman in question) has an interest in. But I don't know what these things are, since I have just met them. Which brings me back to my earlier point (check the archives) about the index-card board. Perhaps I am just drunk, this happens from time to time.
Wierd.. 3 hits from Tucson within 15 minutes of each other. You people (person?) in Tucson, email me! I am in Tempe and desperate for human contact :)
Hey, my birthday is coming up. All you nonexistant people should buy me stuff.. I'll buy you stuff if you let me know when and what...
Buy Scott Stuff

Sunday, October 07, 2001

Everyone has friends, right? Well, most everyone. Those of you lucky enough to have friends (and I mean real friends here, not people you work with and go to lunch with), how did you meet these people? Is it all high-school and college? Is this where you are supposed to meet the people who will stick with you for the rest of your life? Can you meet real lifelong friends when you are entering the twilight of you years? Maybe I am just a little depressed ( well, more depressed then normal ) by my upcomming birthday. What fun. Let me know.

Friday, October 05, 2001 Read that. It's better then the shit you are looking at now.. Someday I hope to be that smart and eloquent.

Thursday, October 04, 2001

I really suggest that everyone at one point in their lives work for a startup. Then you can have an interesting, friendly chat with you superiors that goes something like this:
me: So, at what point do we go out of business.
boss: When the money runs out. Your guess is as good as mine.
me: So, when does the money run out.
boss: End of the year, maybe. Save your pesos..

It's fun!
I am Jack's Compete Lack of Clue...

Wednesday, October 03, 2001

Why do people chat with you when you can clearly tell they don't want to? I mean, you can see it in their eyes that they don't want to chat, and once in a while they will make up an excuse not to chat, but they will never just say 'Go away, I don't want to chat with you'. That would be honest, and most people can't handle honesty. Everything has to be 'nice', when most of the time, 'nice' == 'lie'. I would be much happier with 'truth' then 'nice', sorry.

Monday, October 01, 2001

So, Lisa asks why I am thinking of stopping. Made me think about it.
Why do I do this? Is anything I say here important or necessary in any way? I mean, it's relavant to my life, but I live a small life. Small and uninteresting. Important? Maybe to me, but to the world at large? Does anyone out here really need to know about my personal neuroses?
I started to think about why I read other people's blogs. Is it my small life? Is there something missing? Something wrong with me? Am I some sort of crazy stalker? Am I just crazy? I read other people's lives and dreams and whatnot and feel like I have some sort of life. I post comments on there blogs for what? Is it important? I don't know. I feel like for some reason I am living vicariously through these complete strangers. I need to get out more.