Saturday, September 29, 2001

Dear World Wide Web,
I apologize for inviting myself into your lives. I apologize for interjecting my insipid little 'insights', convinicing myself that they were somehow necessary or relavant. I aplogize for bothering anyone.
I'm sorry, and I will go away now.

Friday, September 28, 2001

So I watched some movies tonight. Am I the only guy who cried during 'Good Will Hunting'? That is such a great movie. 'How do you like them apples'? Such great stuff. Plus, I have to say this, Kristy Swanson is the one and only Buffy. The original and the best. These are some of the things I know.
I have to say this, but I don't want to be an ass to the idiot at work who insisted I was wrong...
China does too share a border with Afghanistan.
Look here in the north-eastern corner.

Thursday, September 27, 2001

Hey, you on AOL.. I can see you reading this. Post a comment or email me or something... How rude..
How much time can a person spend alone before they start to lose their mind? A week? A month? Longer? I believe that I am starting to go completly bonkers. I have caught myself talking to myself out loud in public. I have always talked to myself, but not around others and usually in the guise of talking to my cats. I am seriously deranged. Truely troubled, I tell you.

Wednesday, September 26, 2001

I think I am out of words for the moment. Check later

Monday, September 24, 2001

Woo hoo.. Got the DSL action working now.. Nifty.

Saturday, September 22, 2001

Wow.. where to start.. It has been an active week, to say the least. Someone brought the Nimda virus into the office. At least I believe that is how it happened. I have yet to test my email filters against something like that.
But, as I sit on the edge of another long and lonely weekend, I am beginning to think about myself. I have always been something of a closet romantic. Wandering and wondering where in the world that person who was just meant for me is. Where is she, she has to be late by now. Then I start to wonder if there is someone out there just meant for me. There is something like three billion people in the USA, so someone there has to be just right for me, right? So why am I attracted to people who are with other people? I have this little personal rule, if someone is involved, they are pretty much off limits. I just don't want to be that guy that someone leaves someone for. I have been on the recieveing end of that whole deal, so I can't imagine putting someone else through that. So when you meet someone who is so perfect, but seeing someone else, what do you do? Do you hang out and do the friend thing hopeing for something more, or do you push off, remain aquaintainces, and look for something else. And why am I attracted to people who are interested in other people? Is it because other people are attracted to them, thereby making them attractive, or do I just have really bad timing? Perhaps I am just always late for relationships. So am I destined to always being late? Or maybe, just maybe, I could be ontime for one.
Oh well. Everyone, install your virus scanning software, update your virus definitions, and scan daily. Please. The network admins of the world implore you.

Thursday, September 20, 2001

Blah... Why are there asshole virus writers out there. This Win32.Nimda virus is wreched. Very interesting virus, but a severe pain in the ass. Just spending way too much dealing with this. It sucks..

Tuesday, September 18, 2001

I feel lately that the people I work with just don't like me. I know this sounds crazy and paranoid, but that is what it feels like. No one ever stops by my office to talk, unless they need something. More to the point, people don't talk to me unless they need something. And when anyone does stop by, I start talking and talking, exactly because I never have anyone around to talk to. Maybe I just need to get on IRC more or something, so I can communicate with people. Or maybe I just need to get over myself.
I am finally getting some high speed access at home. So, I am trying to come up with a snazzy domain name. I am unable to come up with one creative or unique name. This is pretty sad. The only thing I could think of was lillibridge.org, becase that would just be cool... scott@lillibridge.org... or not.
I had a bad dream. I woke up after only a few hours sleep because of a bad dream, which at this moment seems all too real. It wasn't bad in a horror-movie, cheesy kind of way, it was bad in a scary, creepy, real kind of way. I can't go back to sleep now, not because I'm not tired, but because I can't close my eyes for fear that I will have that dream again. I know that's not very 'manly', which was exactly what my dream was about. If you haven't noticed yet, I'm not a very manly man. I cook, bake, read, bitch, and what have you. And as un-manly as it sounds, this is one of the worst things about being single. There's no one here to stroke my hair and tell me that it was just a dream and to lie beside me to help me sleep. There's just me to sit and get freaked out and type in this crazy blog. And yes, when I woke back up, just to be safe, I chained the door, along with my deadbolt...

Monday, September 17, 2001

I have this dream, sort of a fantasy really. Just something to do that would feel more like a life that simply being a systems administrator. I dream of someday opening a little bookstore/coffee shop/bakery kind of place. A place where people could come and drink good coffee and get fresh eclairs or biscotti or cake. And talk. Talk about books and politics and beliefs and where to go to dinner or what to do in the park later on. Important stuff. Things that actually are real in peoples lives other then the doings of some crazy arab. I don't mean to triviallize what happened, because it is important and tragic, but I am just tired of thinking about it. I just want to read books and drink coffee and bake and talk and live life, rather then listen to the news and get depressed and pander to the day-to-day craziness of office life. Just silly, really.

Thursday, September 13, 2001

This is amazing. The Amazon.com donation page has reached 1.8 million dollars. I gave, Have You? This has gone beyond any sort of belief. National, religious, anything. People died today, who's major crime was simply going to work in the morning. This is not simply an attack against America, but an attack against everything that America stands for. This is an attack against every american everywhere. America has done bad thing throughout the years. I will be the first to admit that, but this goes beyond any idea of retaliation against anything America has done. Please give, money or blood.
I heard a plane go up my street tonight and I almost jumped out of my window. I ran out the door simply to see it. The lack of planes makes it hard to sleep (as hard as it is to believe).
I have only given a small amount, but I am to recieve a tax rebate check yet and I can think of nothing better to do with it then this. Please, think about it. If you need some encouragement, please visit the red cross website and see what it can do.

Wednesday, September 12, 2001

Stop reading this and go donate blood...
Donate Money

Sunday, September 09, 2001

personal
I think it can pretty much be said that 'Love in the time of Cholera' is one of the most beautiful and depressing books I have ever read. It is so glorious about love and whatnot, but I really don't see anything like that in my future. I believe that I might be becoming a little to cynical for my own good.
Read 'The Bell Jar' also this weekend. That is a wonderful little book. Picked up 'One Hundred Years of Solitude'. Started that, read about a dozen or so pages and it looks to be as good as 'Love...'.
Hmm. Let's see. Not much else. Did some meanial household tasks. Laundry and such. Baked some Chocolate chip and Walnut cookies. That's about it. Nothing new to report.

Saturday, September 08, 2001

personal
So, I talked to my wonderful friend Autumn tonight. She is great. I just wish something could happen between her and I. She's funny and witty and sensative, and 8 years younger then I am. Perhaps when I am older, 8 years won't seem like that long a period, but at the moment, it just seems like too long. I have other bemoaning to do about Anne, but I will save that until later. :)

Wednesday, September 05, 2001

personal
You may have noticed that I haven't been writing about work too much lately. Work is pretty much just generally sucky, so I won't bore you with the details. The worst part is it pretty much sucks the same way all the time.
Anyway, not much else happening. Sat around the house for three days of wonderful Holiday fun. I am not adjusting to the pure aloneness of my life yet. Seems like something better should be happening, but I just can't get it together long enough for stuff to sort out. Did a lot of baking this weekend. Gingersnaps w/ lemon icing and croisants. Turned out pretty tasty, but the croisants were somewhat dense. A little heavier then I expected. Everyone liked the gingersnaps tho. I'm trying to determine if I am doing this because I enjoy it or as a feeble attempt to make people like me. Other then that, I haven't been doing a whole hell of a lot. Anne is going to look in at a cooking supply store by her house for a pastry bag so I can bake my eclaires. That will be fun. I believe it is going to be a treat for everyone. I won't bore everyone with the Anne story, since it is hopeless and tireing (even for me :).
I have determined that 'Love in the time of Cholera' is so far one of the most depressing books I have ever read. Everytime I read some of it, I feel a little bit less hopeful about love. I suppose it's just me. Why can't I just be like other manly guys, like my dad and brother. Why do I have to get all mushy in the knees whenever a woman even looks at me. It's just sad.