Thursday, January 03, 2002

New Blog
Ok, I have been moving my weblog. Check it here http://www.thereisnoarizona.org/blog/ and please update your links and bookmarks. All 3 of you ;-)

This is not complete yet, but I think everything is coming together. I welcome any comments and criticisms.

Tuesday, January 01, 2002

Oh Ladies
This is an official dare. I dare each and every female reader to contribute to this project..

Come on, it's art!
Now, if someone wants to write a song that goes something like: "All we are saying is give a sustained aerial bombing with coordinated ground assaults a chance" that might be helpful.

Jonah Goldberg, via Andrew Hofer

He is now one of my heroes..
I now have 2 resolutions *yeay*
1) Finally learn Calculus.
2) Finish Howard Zin's Peoples History of the United States.

Woow. Now aren't you all excited?
Happy new year, ya'll.. Hope it was good and everyone had fun. I spent the evening with Dyanna, of Throughyoureyes fame. Wonderful dinner and conversation.

But, alas, no wild monkey sex.

Monday, December 31, 2001

How many people went to work today like every other Monday?
*waves hand in air*
How many people weren't told that today was still considered holiday?
*waves hand in air*
How many people are one step closer to stalking from office to office with a semi-automatic rifle, pumping round after round into collegues and co-workers?
*sulks out of the room in shame*

Sunday, December 30, 2001

Women of Note
It has recently come to my attention that I have, really, two categories where the women in my life live. Wanton Lust and Affectionate Sister. Well, there is another, Hideous Bitch, but that is a temporary category best left for a discussion of my bitterness.
Anyway..
Most women I know live in the Wanton Lust category. This doesn't mean that I want to rip their close off and make wild, monkey sex with them, but it does mean that I am not going to totally remove the possibility of future monkey sex. Chances are, in all reality, said monkey sex will never happen, but just in case. This applies to women who are single, and some others, if they happen to be dating mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging cro-magnon idiot-boys. But women who date these sloped-brow evolutionary throw-backs would never be convinced to leave them, in my experience. There is some strange allure to these missing links that seems to attract every smart, attractive woman I know.
Sorry, little bitterness there. If you happen to know me, and are dating some Neanderthal, I apologize. I am talking about every other smart, attractive woman I know, not you..
Really.
Moving on, there is also the Affectionate Sister category. All married women I know fall into this category, even the ones married to the above mentioned knuckle-dragger. Plus some other people that I have know for a very long time, and every female relative I have. The possibly of wild, monkey sex is not only non-existent, but utterly repulsive. The thought of these women even having sex with whom-ever makes me loose sleep, curled fetally in the dark corner of my room. These people exist pretty much in a sexless world, as far as I am concerned, like my parents.
So, okay, since you are pestering, there is the third category, Hideous Bitch. Women get placed into the Hideous Bitch category from the time they do something mean, like not returning calls, or canceling dates without telling me first, or inviting me to Colorado for Thanksgiving then never even calling to say they don't want me to go anymore or inviting me to Scuba-diving only to later tell me there is no room because looser-boyfriend decided at the last minute to go
even though he is afraid of water (I have some fears, but water? please).
Anyway, getting back on track. When a woman does something like this (and if you have ever done anything like this to me, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about the other Neanderthal-dating women I know), then you get shifted into Hideous Bitch for the time between when you did whatever it was that pissed me off, until you do something nice, like calling or emailing or whatever, then you get placed back into your original category, probably Wanton Lust since Affectionate Sisters are immune to this category, and all history of
your existence in Hideous Bitch is erased.

So, there.

Thursday, December 27, 2001

Well, then, that sucked.. Finally able to get into my blog now *yea*
But after a day of jonesing to blog, I can think of not one interesting thing to say...

Tuesday, December 25, 2001

Do they know it's christmas time at all
This has to be my strangest christmas ever. After being up late, I am awakened by my phone ringing, a 4:30 AM. Thinking it might be my fam calling to wish me a merry xmas, not remembering the 2 hour time shift, I answer. Nope, not family, 'Hi, this is Travis* from the Exodus Response Center. We have an alert on one of your servers.' Ugh.. This is not what I want to hear at 4:30 christmas morning. So I get up and deal with that for about 30 minutes. By that point, I am hungry so I made a quick egg & cheese sandwich. After I finish, of course, I am awake so I take my shower and procede to the gifts.
Wonderful gifts from the whole family. Many framed pictures and homemade things (homemade pickles and hot sause, Yum!). Then I opened a little gift from one of my nieces and it was this little '#1 Uncle' money clip, and I started blubbering like a baby.
I realised something about christmas that I had been suspecting for sometime. The most fun on christmas is watching a 4 year old tear into the presants, paper flying everywhere and loving everything she gets. She could get a rock, but it would be the best rock in the world. Also, sitting on the couch with my dad after dinner watching some tv. Listening to my mom, sisters, and nieces play games in the dining room. Watching the kids play in the back room.
Because, unless you have someone to share this with, it's really just Tuesday.

Anyway... Merry christmas to everyone out there, my whole Internet family...

*names changed to protect the guilty.

Sunday, December 23, 2001

Woo Hoo!! Number seven on this Yahoo/Google search for 'clinicly depressed'. Gawd I need to learn how to spell.

Friday, December 21, 2001

In other news, puppies.
I went for a walk tonight and came up with this babbleing stream of conciousness. I will bear no resposibility for the time spent by you or any grammatic, spelling, or other errors contained herein. These thoughts are my own and may not represent the opinions of There is no Arizona..., Blogger, Pyra, any known person living or dead, or any beings which may or may not exist on this or any other reality.
My brain is full. I have these half thoughts that come into my mind at a blistering rate, never becoming fully formed. I think something, and it dies, but not before giving birth to another thought, which will ultimatly be aborted, resulting in yet another thought, ad infinatum. Each of these half thoughts, while seeming important to me, end up as nothing. Wrought from nothing, existing in nothing, eventually returning to nothing but the dry Arizona air. Sometimes I wish I had someone to walk beside me, to listen while I walk and drink my coffee, so that these thoughts could somehow become real, simply by being heard. This person doesn't have to talk, but only listen, and perhaps then these thoughts would continue on as their thoughts, eventually changing, mutating, evolving, then getting told to another silent companion who will take them as their thoughts. And maybe they could continue on forever in this form forever, getting passed from person to person, changing with each new person. Will you be my silent partner for a while, so that I can tell you my half thougts?
I was thinking about my old friends (I told you I would get to this). At what point does a close friend become an old friend. What is the exact moment when you have grown enought, and they have grown enought that you really don't know each other anymore? When does calling to chat become calling to catch up, to reminisce? What percentage of memories does a conversation have to contain to stop being new, and end up as only a recounting of things past? How many awkward pauses and aborted stories (because you really 'had to be there') must exist in a conversation to determine that perhaps you shouldn't call anymore, but exchange cards and letters on an ever widening schedule, until the friendship itself becomes a memory.
Lately I have been feeling myself moving. I can feel the seat of my pants moving through space, but I can also feel myself moving though time. I'm getting older, getting to the point that, not so many years ago, I thought was old. I feel myself growing older, but I don't feel quite like I am growing up. My brother, 17 years my elder, has 3 daughters, 2 age 16, one age 14. In one year, I will be the age he was when he had is first. Yet I don't think I will have any. People say it is good to grow old but never to grow up, yet I find myself wishing I had his sense of purpose, a rootedness in direction and security that this is what I must do, not just what I should do. I find myself wanting something real and pressing that must be attended to. Instead, there is nothing. I have done things, but they have all become obsoliete or rather vanished into memory, perhaps never exists at all, really. All I have are memories, and I can feel time wearing them down. The hours and minutes washing like the sea over the sandcastles of my accomplishments. Is this bad? To have nothing real, no lasting legacy to be remembered.
I find myself 2000 miles away from even these ephemeral things. Miles and miles from everything I have known and done. I think over the things that have brought me to this place. The college experience, poor as dirt. The 3 year marriage, ulitmatly ended. The aborted love affair, mostly of my own conjuring, which caused my move. My 'Year of Solitude', which threatens to continue on without end. Now I find myself in another paragraph, which should have preceded the last, because it is more the cause then the result of that thought.
Now I am thinking too much on what to say next, most of what was thought on my walk vanished. I am thinking too hard now because I talk too much in this place. I have grown to know something of you, the reader. I hesitate on somethings because I don't want to offend or drive you off. This I think is a bad thing, because in the end, this is what will be left of me. My thoughts and words, perhaps. Perhaps nothing, they will be only a fleeting thought to you while you are engulfed in your life.
And now all the thoughts are gone. All that remains is a jumble of things in such a mess that even I can't sort them out. A trainwreck of ponderings and half thoughts and quarter thoughts and a string of random words. Let me ponder this for a while, and come up with some more partial somethings to share.

Thursday, December 20, 2001

To All,

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best
wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially
responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral,
celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within
the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of
your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with
respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or
traditions of others, or their choice not to practice
religious or secular traditions at all, and a fiscally
successful, personally fulfilling, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year 2002, but not without due respect for
the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions
to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that
America is necessarily greater than any other country or is
the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without
regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability,
religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual
preference of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms.
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It
is freely transferable with no alteration to the original
greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually
implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is
void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole
discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform
as expected within the usual application of good tidings for
a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent
holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish
at the sole discretion of the wisher.)
Lord of the Rings
Oh my sweet mother of all that is good and holy. That was just a totally wonderful movie. I don't think I can come up with the words to quite describe how truely wonderful and glorious that movie truly was.
There is only one thing that bothers me about it. One small (or not so small really) detail they changed in it. I will probably blather on more about it later, but I will give everyone a chance to see it. You must see it on the big screen or the pure grandure of the scenery will be lost..

Wednesday, December 19, 2001

This is my job
This pretty much sums up what I do. Please read this and understand :)

In other news, kittens.